I was listening to “Man in the mirror” by Michael Jackson and this song reminded me of how and when I went through the stages of self reflection.
Self reflection is hard to overcome at times especially after events that may place you in the wrong or may feel like it’s your fault circumstances happened that way. For me, I grew up with the mind set, that one way or another it may be all my fault. This isn’t true in most cases. For the most part it was how I perceived it and how I reacted to it. Here are some key factors that I have learned when self reflecting:
- Focus on the fact that it was your decision, own it. Its wasn’t your dogs idea or fault, your moms, dad, friends, etc. Own it, you did it. You decided. It is your mind and your own actions. Not anyone else’s. As harsh as it sounds be real with yourself. Cry about it if you need to, but once you make it past this point it gets easier to keep in mind that you are the maker of your own story, destiny and life.
- Back up your reasoning for why you did it in the first place- not with excuses but why you personally did or did not do it: For example: why I didn’t write yesterday – it was not my priority at the time. I made spending time with my family a priority for that day. Period. In that moment, my family was more important than writing. Set things in priority rather than excuses. For me it made it easier to realize what is more important to me.
- How can you learn from this experience: what are your takeaways, what are signs to look for to not make that mistake again, what are some habits that worked, and what habits need to change?
- What is the story you tell yourself? Flip that script to a positive one. Sure, I can go on an on about how last year was not the best or I can talk about what I learned from it and how I became stronger from it. It’s hard to keep positive, trust me I understand that. But it’s too easy to be negative, which in the long run will harm you and others.
- Once you realize where you are, what are you going to do about it? Move forward, set a goal and go for it. Worry about the how later. Go for it. Start where you are. Do a little bit every day and push forward.
- Love yourself and feel accomplished because of the event you went through. This event made you stronger. Give yourself a round of applause because you went through, you did it! You kicked it and smiled through it! 😉
Hey reader, you got this! Life is hard, I know. We are in this together!
Keep kicking and smiling! -TJ Banski