Reality vs. Expectation: Flirting

Reality vs. Expectation: Flirting

According to the Oxford dictionary flirt -verb- behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone but for amusement rather than serious intentions. Used as a noun a person who habitually flirts. Then, of course, there is the other verb definition- of a bird waving or opening and shutting it’s wing or tail with a quick flicking motion. Obviously we are not talking about the second definition. Lolz.

Now we all flirt some more than others. Even just a little. Some not at all but are quite serious in the whole matter. For me, flirting was always awkward. If I was, I felt it was of the sincere type of flirting, sincere compliments and somewhat more polite. Just being me seemed to be enough to attract a mate, well sometimes. I’m kinda a goofball. Back in high school, I was oblivious to advances from guys who liked me.

Disclaimer: Doing such notions too much can give someone the wrong idea. One can come off as creepy or stalkerish. Also if you are too subtle your crush may not even know it. One can come off as not trying or not interested. This also depends on the type of person you want to attract, flirting styles may vary.

One of my friends described flirting as 20% verbal and 80% physical for women this may be true and for some guys. Again it depends on what kind of person you are wanting to attract, or if you’re just having some fun. A good balance is key.

Physical: flirting is a lot of what you tell your crush physically.

  • Play with your hair
  • Smile
  • Giggle/laugh
  • Poses or stances
  • Touch- shoulder, knee, fist bumps or high fives
  • Eye contact
  • Active listening: responding to questions or comments they say or ask

Good examples:




Hilariously overacted:



Verbal: how you say the words coming out of your mouth

  • Tone
  • Cadence
  • Volume
  • What you say

These four definitely come into place. One may not want to be yelled at across the room to get their attention. Or be whispering when there is a loud band playing. Depending on where you are, keep in mind how you say compliments and advances. 


Tips and Tricks:


I know, your crush is right in front of you and your tongue swells and you get sweaty palms and nothing comes out. It’s alright to practice what to say and act. Repetition builds confidence. I remember one of my friends said she used to practice in from on the mirror her body language on how she talks to her crush. The hair flip, the smile, and pose or stance. The point is to also be you too. Play it cool, calm and with intention. Sometimes that all it takes for your crush to notice.

Get a Wingman/Wingwoman: They make the main person attracting their current crush look and sound amazing. Everyone should have one. A good friend who knows each other really well and knows how to read people make great wingmen/wing women. According to wiki Wingman is someone who is on the “inside” and is used to help someone with intimate relationships. In general, one person’s wingman will help him or her avoid attention from undesirable prospective partners or attract desirable ones or both.

Breaking the Ice:


This can be the most nerve-racking thing. Either way, it’s a step in the right direction to catch your crushes eye. Make it fun, make it yours and most of all make it genuine. A short greeting followed by a compliment. 

Corny pick-up line story:

This one time in high school one of my guy friends, lead with “Wow, are you tired?”

“Why?” I asked, tilting my head and smiling at him. 

“Because you’ve been running through my mind allll day.” He smirked and leaned on the locker next to mine, not breaking eye contact.

Blink. Blink. Giggle, was my response.

After I realized he was, in fact, serious, we went out on a date. I like corny pick-up lines and being friends before it made it even funnier. He had been acting odd for a few months beforehand and it wasn’t, of course, apparent to me that he had a crush on me.

Other favorite funny pick up lines:

  • Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
  • Are you from Tennessee? Well, you are the only ten I see!
  • Can I help you find something?” “No, I found it. It’s you!”
  • Life without you is like a broken pencil. Pointless.
  • Are you lost? Because heaven is a long way from here.”
  • Do you have a band-aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.”
  • Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?  
  • Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes. 
  • We’re not socks but I think we’d make a great pair.
  • Are you a time traveler? Cause I see you in my future.

Do you have any fun stories about flirting? Any fun pick up lines you use? Leave a comment down below!

How I Flirt… lolz

Keep kicking and smiling! – TJ Banski

6 thoughts on “Reality vs. Expectation: Flirting

  1. Wasn´t there a photo of me in next to the Oxford dictionary definition of flirting?
    I suffer from OCF short for Obsessive Compulsive Flirt

  2. I really like your blog. A pleasure to come stroll on your pages. A great discovery and very interesting blog. I come back to visit you. Do not hesitate to visit my universe. A soon 🙂

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